Walking away or disengaging from conflict — also called withdrawal from conflict — can often be the most appropriate action to create safety when a situation is escalating and words alone fail.
What happens when your efforts to professionally de-escalate a situation are falling on deaf ears? Unfortunately, there are people in the world who, when they get angry, frustrated, upset, or disappointed, will lash out with physical violence.
In any given situation, you need to be gauging very carefully whether it’s the right time to stay and continue to verbally de-escalate, or whether it’s time to find an exit and leave.
Depending on your role, there will be a number of different options open to you. It may depend on whether there are teammates nearby, or how much training you’ve had. But the fundamental question is the same: is this situation moving beyond words?
💡 The key message: Sometimes words do fail. Your efforts to verbally de-escalate might not be working — and you need to make a decision about when and how to get out of that situation.
For most people, the immediate question is straightforward: find an exit, move towards safety, and get away from the person threatening violence. This is the default option when your safety is the priority and no other duty binds you to the scene.
But not everyone can simply walk away. Some workers have a duty of care — especially if they’re looking after someone vulnerable. For those people, disengagement might mean using escorting or prompting tactics, or applying momentary control so a team has time to arrive and escalate the use of force appropriately.
In some circumstances, you may end up defending yourself from physical violence using breakaway tactics or self-defence techniques to stop yourself being injured by someone who is attacking you.
The good news is that in the UK, we have the power to use reasonable force — and workers across all sectors have this protection. On Dynamis training courses, we deliver a decision-making framework that is concise and helps you justify your actions.
You need to make a decision about when and how to get out of that situation. It’s called “when words alone fail.”
This framework covers not just how to disengage from conflict, but every element of the conflict toolbox — giving you the confidence to act decisively when it matters most.
For more information on the full methodology, visit Vistelar or explore the range of conflict management courses available at Dynamis Training.
Gerard O’Dea is a conflict management, personal safety and physical interventions training consultant. He is the training director for Dynamis, a specialist in personal safety and violence reduction initiatives, and the European Adviser for Verbal Defense and Influence — a global programme addressing the spectrum of human conflict. www.dynamis.training
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