Conflict Resolution Listening Skills are the means by which we gather the information we need to de-escalate a distressed person, through understanding their needs and what is driving them.
People who are upset or angry or tired or frustrated or stressed out, they don’t say what they mean. Picking apart their message and understanding fully what their needs are is a real skill.
In this session, we go Beyond Active Listening — moving past surface-level engagement to fully understand another person’s message when we’re in a high-pressure interaction. That complete understanding is what allows us to move things forward.
For the most part, we’re dealing with people who are expressing a genuine pain, issue, or problem. Our job is to engage with them in an effort to solve that problem and get them back on task.
1. Really Listen. Your goal isn’t just to get the facts — you’ll need a complete understanding of the context, the situation, the obstacles, and the attitudes you’re facing. All of these will determine your next steps.
2. Empathise. See through the eyes of the other person. Understand their wishes, wants, needs, and desires so you can get a real feel for where to take the situation next.
3. Ask Questions. Employ skilful questioning techniques to pull out useful information about what to do, how the person is feeling, and what solutions they might have to the situation in front of you.
4. Clarify with a Power Phrase. Put that person’s meaning into your own words. This keeps things simple and makes the conversation understandable for everyone involved.
5. Summarise and Reconnect. Make sure everyone understands the situation in the same way, then reconnect the communication back to the original task. Get them back on track.
💡 Key takeaway: Having understood the problem, found the key to the situation, and unlocked the door, you can move forward together. Beyond Active Listening helps you work with somebody through their problems and into a positive outcome.
Watch the full video: Beyond Active Listening — Communicating Under Pressure
For more information, visit Vistelar or explore our UK training courses at Dynamis.
Gerard O’Dea is a conflict management, personal safety and physical interventions training consultant. He is the training director for Dynamis, a specialist in personal safety and violence reduction initiatives, and the European Adviser for ‘Verbal Defense and Influence’, a global programme which addresses the spectrum of human conflict. www.dynamis.training
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