How to show people respect during conflict
Gary Klugiewicz here, Director of Training at Vistelar.
Of all of the four Vistelar cards, my favorite one is the green card. It’s their treat people right card, because you use it for so many things. And one of the big things you do is when someone asks you, “Are you competent? Did you do a good job or not?” When they start attacking you, your competency, they say you did something wrong. This is a great card to use.
On the front of the card it says, “Treat people right.” On the back of the card, at the top, it says how to show people respect during conflict and then it gives the five approaches to show people respect. And at the bottom it has the empathy triad along with how you use an empathy triad. This is how we use it. If I was ever in court and someone says, “Have you ever had conflict management training?” And that’s a trick question and I’d answer it, “Yes I have.” Or, “Did you have it?
And I say, “It teaches how to show people respect during conflict.”
Well, what does that mean: how to show people respect during conflict? It means we learn how to show people respect and treat people the right way. Very simply it means I want to be able to see the world through their eyes. I want to listen with all my senses. I want to be able to ask, explain why. I want to be able to offer options and let them choose. I want to give them an opportunity to reconsider. I want to give those five things and all people in all cultures, all the different parts of life, all different races, religions, sexuality, it doesn’t matter. All people want to be treated with respect that way.
That’s what I learned to do – how to show people respect during conflict – and in order to help me do that, I’ve also learned the empathy triad. And empathy triad says I need to actually acknowledge the person’s perspective. Not agree but acknowledge it. I have to acknowledge your perspective so I can see where they’re coming from. I have to try to understand it. I want to learn more about their perspective, so I can help anticipate their needs.
And so that’s what I’ve learned to do in conflict management – I know how to show people respect during conflict. Now that’s a powerful statement.
“Have you ever had conflict management training?”
“Yes, I have.”
“What did it teach you?”
“We learned how to treat people right.”
“What does that mean?”
“We learned how to show people respect.”
“What do you mean? How do you treat people with respect?”
“Well, there’s five ways to do it.” We learned how to use this empathy triad to help us do that and apply that in conflict situations. That’s what I learned how to do.”
I have had conflict management training, and that’s a powerful statement to make in court – you can show that you have expertise in how to show people respect during conflict.
Team Dynamis Ltd. is the UK representative for Vistelar Conflict Management Training since 2014, specialising in how to show people respect during conflict for healthcare, education and enforcement services.
To learn how your organisation can benefit from this modern, evidence-based approach to learning how to professionally manage conflict, please visit: www.dynamis.training/vistelar to learn more.
Train-the-Trainer opportunities may be coming up in the near future which would allow you and your organisation to bring these leading Conflict Management, Crisis Intervention and Personal Safety concepts and practices into your organisation.