Hi there. Gary Klugiewicz here.
I recently visited Force Science’s new training center in Chicago right next to O’Hare Airport. It is a beautiful state of the art training facility.
While visiting, I had a chance to talk with Scott Buhrmaster, their vice president in charge of operations. Scott and I have known each other over twenty years. As usual, our discussion turned to training: What we have learned and how to best get this message out to our students. It was at this time that Scott shared something that I had taught him years ago that he still remembers and uses to this day. The concept was right out of our Point-of-Impact Crisis Intervention (P.I.C.I.) Training Program. It goes like this: When attempting to communicate with a person who won’t or can’t talk with you, you may try saying: “I can’t hear what you are thinking?”
Originally we used this to communicate with persons with mental health issues who thought that they could project their thoughts using something called “thought broadcasting.” Unfortunately, the persons being communicated with may not have been able to receive this type of communication. By saying that you couldn’t hear what they were thinking, you might be able to get them to use verbal communication.
The use of the “I can’t hear what you are thinking” phrase has been expanded to be used to get a person who is angry and not talking to start communicating. It can be used in a redirection by saying: “I appreciated the fact that I may have said something to upset you but I can’t hear what you are thinking. Help me out here. What did I say? Tell me what has upset you. Let’s work this out.” This phrase should be added to your other peace phrases like: “What can I do to help…”, “for your safety and mine…”, and “work with me…”.
Thank you Scott for reminding me of this important communication tool. Please free to add you own peace phrase to the comments section.
For more information about Gary Klugiewicz and Verbal Defense and Influence visit http://vistelar.com/category/gary-klugiewicz/